Did I mention clowns?

My irrational fears:

-clowns (I know this sounds stupid but I have a reason for it thanks to the movie Poltergeist, my brother and a stuffed clown I had as a child.. but that is all I'm going to say about that.)

-heights... especially when children are near a ledge of some sort. It doesn't even matter if it is a balcony with a rail. If children are near it, I will vomit.

-the dark (have you seen Paranormal Activity?) I rest my case and I am secretly glad that my daughter has to sleep with the hall light on. I don't know what I will do when she grows out of that one. I think I'll have to get a nightlight for my bedroom.

-hurting feelings. This is the worst thing about me hands down! I will obsess non-stop about a conversation if I feel like I said something that might have been taken wrong. I overthink EVERYTHING and I am trying to come to terms with it. Also- it drives my husband insane.

-public speaking. I will seriously take extreme measures to get out of having to speak in front of a crowd. I have taken an F in a class to avoid doing an oral report and faked sickness to get out of speaking in front of large groups. I'm not kidding.

-Sophie running down the driveway, walking down the stairs, touching the tv stand, running in socks etc.. pretty much if Sophie moves quickly anywhere I have an anxiety attack. I just picture her falling on the driveway and skinning her face, falling head over heels down the stairs, the tv falling on her or slipping on the hardwood floor. I know. I did mention these were "irrational" fears right?

-and did I mention clowns?

Trust me this list could go on for pages and there are so many more that are just totally ridiculous but I will spare you (and myself from the embarrassment) because I think you get the point. The reason I am telling you this is because the first step is admitting you have a problem right? My biggest concern is that my stupid fears are going to rub off on my children. I don't want them growing up being an anxious ball of nerves like their mother. My goal this year is to try really hard to relax and stop overthinking things.

There you have it... #1 of 57 of my New Year's Resolutions in a nutshell. Not.

I know... That was three minutes of your lives you will never get back huh?